How to Bring the Sparkle Back into Your Marriage

Guest Post By: Peter Minkoff


If you reached the point where your marriage is in serious danger, it still may be too soon to give up on it completely. Of course, it’s very important to stay as realistic as possible. If your spouse is already set on leading a life that doesn’t include you, you shouldn’t force them or yourself to work on rekindling the old flame. However, in case your partner also wants to give it a shot, there are several different things you can try.

Visit a place that has a special meaning for you

A great way to bring back the old feelings is to go back to where it all started. As a married couple, you probably have that one special place that holds great meaning for both of you. This can be a place where you first met, kissed or decided to get married. You can take the time there to enjoy, talk about the past moments and relive the memories that brought you together in the first place.

Read your marriage vows

If you need a reminder of what your thoughts and feelings were when you got married, it’s definitely the right time to reread your wedding vows. However, just reading them is not enough to do the magic. Create a nice atmosphere at home or at that above-mentioned special place. Read your vows to each other, and try to keep the eye contact – just like you did on your wedding day. In the end, the message you had for each other at the time may turn out to be a message for yourself at present and the spark that went missing along the way.

Do things together

One of the most effective ways to rekindle the old flame and find the deep connection you once felt is to commit to doing interesting and fun things together. Go on an adventure somewhere you’ve never been before; try new hobbies and adrenaline-rushing activities while holding hands; learn a new skill together.

Also, you can try some more relaxing and mindful activities. For example, you can sign up for couples yoga sessions as well as couples massages that can help you relax and meditate enough to peek into your true feelings and desires.

Write down your deepest feelings

If you’ve been experiencing some difficulties in your life that may be the cause of your marriage troubles, it’s important that you let your spouse know exactly how you feel. However, we all know just how hard it can be to talk about our feelings, especially the negative ones. Therefore, it might be a good idea to pour all your feelings and thoughts into a letter for your partner. Explain and describe everything that you had to go through in your mind and how that made you react to other things in life, even when love is concerned. Write about everything that you can comprehend about yourself and point out the things that you can’t. Of course, don’t rush the writing of this letter. In the end, you may be able to understand each other a lot better after reading the entire story without interruptions.

Seek professional help

It can also happen that the two of you simply don’t know where to start when it comes to bringing the old sparkle back into your married life. In cases like these, there’s nothing wrong with asking a professional marriage counselor for help. What’s more, these therapy sessions may help you work out the root of all your problems, not just provide quick fixes for the current situation. Also, when both of you are willing to see a marriage counselor, it’s a clear sign that there’s still love worth saving between you two.

Unfortunately, we often forget that things can be repaired rather than simply replaced, even when our relationships are in question. But if there’s hope to make your marriage functional and the love you share as strong as ever, you should definitely not give up.


Peter is a parenting and lifestyle writer for Voice Boks magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.

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