While listening to a song it came to me. The lyric mentioned needing a hero, and I thought back to the first year and a half of this torturous journey. I remember needing a hero to save me from the dark. I’d been blinded by shock, grief, and confusion. I was floating in despair and didn’t know how to get out of the hole I’d fell into. I remember begging for a savior. I remember begging for a hero. Then after a long while I realized I had to be my own savior. I had to pull myself up and protect the rest of what I had left. How did I become my own hero? I realized no one had the powers or the know how to make it better for me. I had to realize I couldn’t blame others for not making me feel better because they don’t know how. I had to understand that people are human and don’t have the capabilities of doing what I was asking of them to do. Superheroes are supernatural and I couldn’t expect someone close to me, or anyone for that matter to magically fix my heart, my issues, and my past. It’s not fair to ask something impossible out of a human. So, now I know that I can’t wait around for a superhero to mend me back together; I now know I have to mend myself. I have to look into myself and ask what I really need at the moment and fix that particular thing one at a time. Heroes exist, but not in the capacity I expected. Look deep into yourself and find the motivation and inspiration to become your own savior. It’s hard but necessary.

 

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